Aphorisms

An aphorism (literally distinction or definition, from Greek αφοριζειν “to define”) expresses a general truth in a pithy sentence. It is a short, pointed sentence expressing a wise, clever observation, a general truth or adage.

I got these in my email today and a they seemed to make a lot of sense (Thanks Papa). Enjoy

• The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
• Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
• If you don’t have a sense of humor, you probably don’t have any sense at all.
• Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
• A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
• How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
• Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
• Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks ?
• Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.
• No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
• There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
• There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. Like this: It could be a right number.
• No one ever says “It’s only a game” when their team is winning.
• I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
• Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
• The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.
• Do you realize that in about 40 years we’ll have millions of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
• Money can’t buy happiness – but somehow it’s more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.
• After 70 if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.